Dating Over 50: Considering the Basics

Dating can be an adventure, a drama (or melodrama), and a test of fortitude. It can also be outright fun. Whether you are just entering the door of dating over 50 or have a bit of experience, considering a few basics can help make the trip more fun and less fear.

Consider this:

1. Life is complicated and for those over 50, this can be incredibly so. Having reached the half-century mark, most people have come through all sorts of life experiences. Some of them continue to influence daily life long after the experience itself. There are issues like ex-spouses, children, grand-children, working, not working, facing retirement and facing the fact that over 50 bodies have a lot of mileage on them. Expect potential dates to carry complications. How they are dealing with life complications will tell you a lot about them – their character, their attitude for instance.

2. You have needs and desires. Before jumping too deep into the dating pool, take the time to consider your needs and desires at this point in your life. Are you looking for someone just to have fun with or are you looking for commitment? What do you expect from dates? What issues really, really matter to you? Identify them up front now and be faithful to them. If something is important enough to you to be a datebreaker, it is important indeed.

3. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. The point here is not that fifty is old, it is that people over 50 tend to be set in their ways. They've spent a lifetime shaping their personal habits and belief systems. If a date has some potential yet doesn't meet your important criteria, do not expect to change the other person to fit your needs. If anything, expect to do some serious compromising yourself if you are to make the relationship work.

4. Just because a date lacks something to be desired doesn't mean the relationship can't work. It is likely to mean that a different type of relationship is in order. Maybe the chemistry isn't there for romantic love, but there's a connection that would make a great friendship.

5. Looking before you leap helps avoid serious injury. When dating over 50, both participants bring complications to the table. Merging two complicated lives is an issue all it's own. Successful merging of two established lives into one requires sacrifice and commitment on both sides. It is also going to take time. Before you get into deep water, evaluate the circumstances from the safety of the shoreline. Consider all of the implications as well as obvious or likely complications.

6. Fun is good. It's hard enough to remember what fun is when dealing with one complicated life. Throw another into the mix and things happen. People get busy and distracted. Make sure fun is on your calendar. Keep those appointments. Relationships over 50 can be stressful. A serious dose of fun is a great antidote to stress.

Dating over 50 is a big step but it doesn't have to be a hard or painful step. Pay attention to the basics and save yourself time and trouble down the road. Don't let complications develop into terminal situations. Most importantly, remember to have fun.

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